You clearly have an unusual fixation with asphixiation...
Or, any of these, indeed: Men hallucinate after eating fishMagazine publishes guide to cosmetic fish surgeryTongue-eating louse found on supermarket snapperDog-eating eel kills gooseCompany offers custom fish tattoos with laserWhale vomit find worth thousandsLive fish found in uncracked duck eggTeddy bear kills 2500Man impaled by giant fishPiranha bites off side of man's finger
Oh sweet Jesus. You aren't getitng me anywhere near a source of water without first equipping me with a muzzle. And a Kalashnikov.
Did someone spot the thumb marks on your throat?
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Mrs Gordon and all her friends