Damn it, I worked really hard to get my Blue Peter badges. Victoria Someone and I made lots of badges, probably saying something like "Don't run over hedgehogs" and were rewarded with a green conservation badge which was beyond exciting. I had a white one too, which you got just for writing in a letter, although I was such a horribly show-off child I probably wrote them a lovely story to go with it.

Anyway, a few years ago my mother gave my badges away to the ungrateful brats next door. Admittedly the brats aren't remotely brattish, they're quite disappointingly nice actually, but they were my badges and I felt horribly cheated that they could waltz into places for free without making so much as a fortune teller to deserve it.

Now it seems there's a scheme against honest badge-earners everywhere which Blue Peter are going to stop, probably by inscribing the name of each kid on the back of it. It's all eBay's fault dammit.

"Edinburgh Zoo has said it is stopping free entry for children in the wake of the badges being sold on the internet.

A spokeswoman said they became suspicious of an increase in badge-holding visitors, including one family where every child had one."

Bastards. Go and make one of your own, earlier.