This amuses me lots. Then again, I have just spent the best part of half an hour looking at how many people have my friends names. Annoyingly, most of them are unique. I think I need more icecream...

"Find out if your an age billionaire. We invested 45p and hired the brain power of 7 ex tea bag monkeys to figure out how how old you are in days, hours, minutes and seconds.

This is vital to the survival of the human race. Why? Because we don't enjoy ourselves enough. These complex monkey based calculations now give you at least an extra couple of birthdays a year. Never mind your 30th birthday, how about 'today I was a billion seconds old'. Now that's much more spectacular although if someone offered to give you the dumps I'd avoid it.

We'll also tell you how many days there are until your birthday so you can bombard friends and family with daily update emails to make sure they are quite aware of your alcohol and gift demands. All you need to do is register and all this information will be available when you log in for your constant amusement and horror.

Click me to Register

No monkeys where harmed in the making of these web pages"