Ah, the demons have flown. Wish my body could learn temperance *sigh*. If anyone knows anyone of interest to interview for my journalism course application, let me know. My shortlist is intimidating me.

Strange things happening recently:

- discovering that living off juice alone is possible during the day but the night brings demons craving chocolate.

- getting an email from some band in Florida wanting me to rate one of their songs. You can do it yourself on here.

- getting random emails full stop regarding d21

- oh yeah, not strange but go and see Lost in Translation as it's magical.

...happily, it seems mainstream internet DOES lie. Well, the shock hit me horribly as you can imagine (lies, lies, lies, I'm the most gullible person in the world) but hye, disocvered the amazing bartleby today which is a godsend - if you're studying english, german or french lit (especially Racine, Corneille or Molière) then sing to the rooftops as bartleby has translations, quotations and even a sexy layout. "!Sing!"

Hahahahaha! Guess who's lined up to play Voldemort in Goblet of Fire? Rowan bloody Atkinson! I'd like to write "apparently" but you know, mainstream internet would - not -lie.

Jesus. I really haven't posted in ages and ages and SEGA. Oops, sorry. Happy New Year everyone - what's amusing me at the moment: Tatu run for president of Russia - apparently they reckon they could kick Putin's arse. Hmmm, smell a publicity stunt anyone? Also the fact the Boogie Pimps were played on Radio1 yday as Sara Cox's new "favourite " tune - new my arse, Cat was playing that ages ago, god bless Austria. Smuggens for the day he he he.

Woo hoo! I did it! I finally gave blood! You can read all about it here.

Click and head down towards the bottom. God bless us, everyone.

Hatfield is becoming my new favourite place. Oh dear?

Cheese was excellent last night bar lack of advertising: a loopy evening punctuated by teaching Anna to ride without a horse and teaching her how to tack up - ditto. Nice wine is clearly a brain distorter - hurray!

Oh. God. The fear is gnawing through my bones, brain and body more than ever. Why is an italian spell check so hard to find in a bloody unviersity? Why can I not think of three hundred more words? And why am I still panicking about my heart?

Looking for the HIM site. Found Humberside Industrial Metal instead. Wouldn't it be great if that was a real honest to god genre?

Elliott Smith has killed himself. A tragedy for music, his family and friends. I hope he's happier now.

How is it that I could buy over 50 flights to Europe for the price of a return train ticket to Norwich? Where is the logic or the bloody fairness?

With my birthday imminent, I have been deluged with requests from people wanting to know what I'd like for my birthday.

Alright, that's a LIE. Nobody cares. Everybody is secretive and I may end up being the little girl with NO PRESENTS AT ALL. Do you want that to happen? Well? DO YOU??!!!

*Ahem*

Anyway, should you the humble reader wish to buy me a present then I will accept a pony, "Running with Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs, an adopted shark, "How the West Was Won" dvd or a horse or any other fabulous present you care to get me. I have a wishlist on Amazon.

Those of you who don't care, I spit in your eyes and fork bad luck your way. Hssssss...

You wouldn't think I give money to charity would you?

I want to download a song. You'd think this would be easy but oooooh no. Ares has no songs. Kazaa has no software and requires shutting down every two minutes. Happy day then that O Zone's Online Tuning Fork exists. Only an A mind you, but in cool, bright reality playing sound. Awesome. Better (just) and more fun are the online piano keyboard's you can get. This one's a bit basic but hey, it works.

None of them beat this though: turn the sound up.

Well friends, Finding Nemo was indeed a beautiful, beautiful film. Not enough sharks in it though considering the amount of build up about Bruce etc. What the hell, we saw most of the film in the adverts before hand anyway - McDonald's Finding Nemo Happy Meals, Fairy finding Nemo toys and towels, the Finding Nemo video game...jesus, just show us the damn film and fuck off.

"Hello, I'm Charlotte Green. Jordan for the Home Counties."

Thank god for Radio 4's Listen Again page for Dead Ringers. Eastenders, Brian Perkins and a drum machine. Nuff said. Calm, calm tranquility in a beautiful rose garden, little pixies flying around dropping lily blossoms at my feet...

Tick...tick...tick. Like a bloody bomb about to go off - term, essays, Finding Nemo coming to Durham, trekking off to Newcastle to see every other film in the world that will never get a release in Durham, working, seeing, blah blah blah aargh. Head exploding, too much, too cold, too soon. Hmph.

Tomorrow I begin my "Insight into Management" course on the Hill. My dad rang me up tonight, ostensibly for nothing in particular but probably with a nervous thought that I might make it up there and run screaming, arms wide open, mad and flailing into the mountains of Durham. I'm actually rather terrified the people there are going to sniff my lazy Arts student status upon entry and scream "FRAUD" and point and start crying cos I'm taking the piss or something. Alternatively I could climb out of my own arse and stop believing that people who seriously want to work in business/ management/ industry are strange and incomprehensible beings with permanently earnest expressions. Damn my inability to say no! Farewell my dears...building exercises involving straws await me.

BASTARDS!!!! Fucking Dame Edna playing Bruce in Finding Nemo?? Possibly the best twist in a film ever and they put it in a damn film review? God I hate this life. The only way to make myself feel better is to throw toys out fo the pram and spoil the surprise for everyone else too. Humph.

Sing ho for Angle Grinder Man, the parody activist fighting for our rights against wheel clamping and bloody traffic wardens. Hurrah for the man! Bloody funny.

Need money? Sell you soul! While your at it get a free quotation! we want your soul has just valued mine at £36990 - only 21% of people have a purer soul than me. That's told you hasn't it! Buggers.

Oh. Webmail's been made all sexy and somewhat unuseable. I almost wish it was back to being useless and ugly. *sigh*

Handel's Messiah given X rating. "Obviously, there's been some sort of error," said Lara Vacante, an Apple spokeswoman.

Everyone! Forget your lives and embrace the new Spaced/ Black Books/ whichever slightly odd Channel 4 show you love the most. Watch Peep Show next week!

The world of Durham grows ever smaller as a mate I hadn't seen since sixth form turns up in Walkabout to do a PGCE. Not in Walkabout you must understand...

What the hell are Neigbours playing at sending Dee and Toadie over a damn cliff?! Is nobody allowed to live happily in Soapland anymore? And what's their obsession with the sea anyway? Bloody ridiculous.

Oh dear. It's actually true - English is an easy language for easy people.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. ceehiro

Damn these essays. Damn them damn them damn them.

Huzzah! Prospective hair power meet and greet ahead if people don't decide d21 to be of less importance than actual printed things. Bastards. Damn them and their inky blasphemy.

Hot damn, enough use of the word "wow" I feel. Which is a pain in the ass when you want to wax lyrical about the prospect of rescuing your mundane out of term existence through getting SKY. Hurrah I say, Hurrah!