With my birthday imminent, I have been deluged with requests from people wanting to know what I'd like for my birthday.

Alright, that's a LIE. Nobody cares. Everybody is secretive and I may end up being the little girl with NO PRESENTS AT ALL. Do you want that to happen? Well? DO YOU??!!!

*Ahem*

Anyway, should you the humble reader wish to buy me a present then I will accept a pony, "Running with Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs, an adopted shark, "How the West Was Won" dvd or a horse or any other fabulous present you care to get me. I have a wishlist on Amazon.

Those of you who don't care, I spit in your eyes and fork bad luck your way. Hssssss...

You wouldn't think I give money to charity would you?