If you have five minutes free today and you are a man / boy or know one who has time free to think about being an unfaithful bastard, then you might like to help out my friend Helen.

She's doing a feature on men / cheating and their definitions of the above. She would like to know what you (or your referred male) think is cheating and what's not. For example:

"At what point does it turn from being a nice innocent flirt to a big old infidelity? Hilarious. Or funny. Or disgusting. All is welcome in the house of bownass (this being her surname rather than, say, a Croatian term for being a mangy cheater).

"You get me? No? Something like this...
' Phonesex is fine. If it's not physical it doesn't actually count does it?
'Just cause I call my female mate sexy doesn't mean I'm flirting.

Or, you know, something similar."

It will all be anonymous so you won't have to have your name in print even if you are a cheating cheater from Cheaterland. Email her at helen.bownass@emap.com.