Aww! Britain's best look-a-like band Alfie (Beckham on bass, Badly Drawn Boy, Tim Burgess singing) are splitting up because they're not getting the breaks. I saw them in my first year at uni and they were lovely. Go out and buy copies of Stuntman etc to mourn the passing of a badn who didn't get the breaks they would have got had they been catchier.

Damn! Working here has turned me into the Comic Book Guy. Still, this truly IS the best. link. ever. Fact!

Want to rake in royalties but don't have time to write a hit song? Hey, never mind! If you've got a spare £15k you can buy a whole 7% of a BBritney Spears song. Alternatively, you could write yourself a cheque for the £15k and ask someone to give it to you.

If you haven't already been initiated into the joy that is the utterly delectable Sam West then look no further. Ridiculously beautiful photo = 15 years off actual age = delicious!

Tired. Crotchety. Hate bank. Want sleep. Doom film brilliant.

Richard Gere must be dying with anticipation at this latest gadget.

Wrong, but hilariously wrong.

Grammar is a niggle. This is bloody hilarious. As HM puts it, all punctuation is 'model's own.
________________________________
To the DUTY OFFICE of ITV Television :

As discussed, I shall be Extremely grateful for your Kind Assistance in passing on My following Contact Details to: Mrs. SHARON OSBOURNE & FAMILY (The 'Star' of the X-Factor Series, et el) ~
With whom I wish to Personally Communicate, in regards to Proposing to themselves the opportunity to View/Become Involved with a 'Unique New Entertainment related Gaming Project'
; of which I, as the Inventor & Sole Proprietor, wish to Confidentially Share with them at this time.

From: XXXXXXX X. XXXXXX

Pvt. Telephone Line : 0208 xxx-xxxx - London UK.
E-Mail : xxxxxxx.xxxxx@xxxxxx

THANKING YOU

Most Sincerely.

PS : As an ardent ITV Television Channel Viewer - I also take this Opportunity, to Thank the ITV Television Group for transmitting such absolute 'Top Class' TV Programming, the Entertainment which I too, enjoy each and every Day !

I need a haircut. In other news, there was something really cool I was going to post on here and I've forgotten it. How incredibly surprising.

Make a pig! Make a pig! If you can't be arsed, the password is 'oink'. I swear some of those people must have computerised pencils, because you sure as hell can't draw THAT with a mouse.

Can you tell the difference between a geek and a serial killer? Aha!I got 10/10 so I will always be safe. Must be an online thing. Plus the fact that most of these pictures pre-date computing.

Just what I always wanted! A bloke on the forum at work has turned us all into the cerw of Star Trek!

Disturbing thought of the day: According to GLAMOUR, Katie Holme's aunt has spoken out against reports her niece used IVF to conceive Tom Cruise's child. Carol Zydorczyk told reporters: "I can assure you they did it the old fashioned way."

Er, how? Was there some kind of ceremony? Did the whole family take part?

Woo hoo! First exclusive obtained for Empire! And I got a danish pastry out of it an' all...

Best. Story. Ever.

Marilyn Manson is hoping to beat the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Britney Spears in the perfume wars with his very own fragrance (quoth The New York Post). The goth rocker, who's currently planning his wedding to Dita Von Teese, says as well as creating a signature scent he wants to bring out his own line of cosmetics and is "in the final stages with one of the major companies".

I don't even care if that's true or not, that's the most hilarious thing I've heard all day. Oh wait, scratch that, I found out Ralph Fiennes is a massive computer game fan this morning. Tee hee!

This looked better in print. Grrrr, stylish.

Wow. In a dramatic upgrade from My First Doll and My First Crafty Fag (hi Ian), last night saw My First Premiere. On arrival at Leicester Square it suddenly occurred to me that I had absolutely no idea what to do at a red carpet event. I ended up walking sheepishly up the said carpet, staring at my feet to avoid the beady eyed stares of the assembled public going "You! You're tall...but not famous so fuck off."

In the end the ridiculously lovely PRs walked me through everything and parked me next to a nice freelancer from Newsbeat and far away from the camp old roue holding court along the line. They asked us who we wanted to talk to and brought them along like celebrity sushi. Sadie Frost? No problem? Grayson Perry? Over here mate. Who's your new bloke, Kelly? It was like being wrapped in Heat magazine and well-salted.

In a shaming move, I skipped the film and party and went home to pass out on the sofa with leftovers. How bloody rock n roll.

Ha non-believers - ha! My university's better than your university. In other news, Nick Pickles has finally done what he always threatened to do and has taken over the world. Kind of. If SU president even counts as power anymore. Dopes Durham have power? In the world of the Sunday Times it does, and I believe whatever the Sunday Times says...

Oh yeah, the Wallace and Gromit film is EXCELLENT.