One of my lovely co-workers feeds my penchant for ridiculous news stories on a regular basis. They are invariably ridiculous and I enjoy them tremendously. Today's I have to share with you simply because I laughed so much that I compeltely forgot I was supposed to be stalking Nelly Furtado around the building, and had a nervous collapse instead.

Penis-pump driver crashes into bus (from The Register)
'Auto-sex' Slovak pile-up

A Slovak driver who ignored a give way sign and crashed into a bus was subsequently extracted from his car unconscious, half naked, and "with a vacuum pump on his penis", Channel 4 reports.

The unnamed 42-year-old was driving his old Citroen in the Slovak town of Levice when the accident occurred. Police officer Peter Polak told Reuters: "It's very likely he had auto-sex while driving: it is a matter of investigation. After the accident he was found lying in the seat, his pants were off and it [the pump] was placed on his penis."

Unsurprisingly, Polak added: "I've never seen anything like this, nor have my colleagues."

The man was taken to hospital with "head injuries", the report concludes.
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Yes, I have the sense of humour of a guttertroll. But it was the headline and the last sentence that did it for me. God bless that sub.

I'm going to be terribly highbrow tonight to make up for it. Possibly.