Tomorrow I begin my "Insight into Management" course on the Hill. My dad rang me up tonight, ostensibly for nothing in particular but probably with a nervous thought that I might make it up there and run screaming, arms wide open, mad and flailing into the mountains of Durham. I'm actually rather terrified the people there are going to sniff my lazy Arts student status upon entry and scream "FRAUD" and point and start crying cos I'm taking the piss or something. Alternatively I could climb out of my own arse and stop believing that people who seriously want to work in business/ management/ industry are strange and incomprehensible beings with permanently earnest expressions. Damn my inability to say no! Farewell my dears...building exercises involving straws await me.

BASTARDS!!!! Fucking Dame Edna playing Bruce in Finding Nemo?? Possibly the best twist in a film ever and they put it in a damn film review? God I hate this life. The only way to make myself feel better is to throw toys out fo the pram and spoil the surprise for everyone else too. Humph.

Sing ho for Angle Grinder Man, the parody activist fighting for our rights against wheel clamping and bloody traffic wardens. Hurrah for the man! Bloody funny.

Need money? Sell you soul! While your at it get a free quotation! we want your soul has just valued mine at £36990 - only 21% of people have a purer soul than me. That's told you hasn't it! Buggers.

Oh. Webmail's been made all sexy and somewhat unuseable. I almost wish it was back to being useless and ugly. *sigh*

Handel's Messiah given X rating. "Obviously, there's been some sort of error," said Lara Vacante, an Apple spokeswoman.

Everyone! Forget your lives and embrace the new Spaced/ Black Books/ whichever slightly odd Channel 4 show you love the most. Watch Peep Show next week!

The world of Durham grows ever smaller as a mate I hadn't seen since sixth form turns up in Walkabout to do a PGCE. Not in Walkabout you must understand...

What the hell are Neigbours playing at sending Dee and Toadie over a damn cliff?! Is nobody allowed to live happily in Soapland anymore? And what's their obsession with the sea anyway? Bloody ridiculous.

Oh dear. It's actually true - English is an easy language for easy people.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. ceehiro

Damn these essays. Damn them damn them damn them.

Huzzah! Prospective hair power meet and greet ahead if people don't decide d21 to be of less importance than actual printed things. Bastards. Damn them and their inky blasphemy.

Hot damn, enough use of the word "wow" I feel. Which is a pain in the ass when you want to wax lyrical about the prospect of rescuing your mundane out of term existence through getting SKY. Hurrah I say, Hurrah!

Wow, The Flaming Lips are touring with the Chilli Peppers! In America. Damn.

Wow! Urinals in the street! Swanky new alcohol providers! No bloody cinema! How nice to be back in Durham.

Anybody know spanish? Learn, and while you're at it, translate this for me! Answers on a postcard to the usual address x

"The Flame" es el nuevo disco de DOVER que amenaza con arrasar los escasos y débiles buenos sentimientos que nos quedan en este verano flamígero, arrastrándonos al feroz torbellino que solo ellos saben desencadenar, pero probablemente nos dejará a su vez la sensación de que todavía podemos disfrutar sin avergonzarnos de ROCK hecho aquí sin complejos, con naturalidad, intensidad y furia como para liberarnos de la mezquindad musical que nos invade.

By the by, who's bad?

Well kids, Reading was better than expected - lots of toys being thrown out of prams (Squarepusher, Good Charlotte); Metallica having muchos fireworks and winding up the crowd with three encores (or truthfully, seeing how many times they could get away with walking off the stage before people started getting bored.) Lightyear secretly ending up as headliners by playing in the corner of a field for six minutes before getting ousted by security, the bewildered donut man besieged by three hundred drunks paying homage to his royal Hulk Hogan-ness, twenty thousand people rediscovering their testicles by singing along like a cathedral choir to The Darkness and having the best time ever. Man, this year was about JOY! Not about the damn Polyphonic Spree who contrary to expectation were just too scary to stay around with. And of course, Longview. Magic.

Hurray! Off to Reading tomorrow - plans for this year include not getting sunstroke. Like last time. Bastards. Pot Noodles no longer have the appeal of three years ago but it's tought titties as I am not forking out £££ for a pitiful little potato covered in slime. My mum has made the Mother Of All Fruitcakes for me and my bro though - mmmm, stodge and fillingness. Went round Winchester with the Siena kids yesterday - Andres badgered us to see the Round Table which was complete bollocks and stuck on the side of a wall. Wow. The Cathedral was great though apart from testy tower tour women, but respect to the ladies from the library. Well done you nice ladies!

Bless google and its magically strange workforce...

"I found a fantastic picture of Enoch Powell MP on a pogo stick, and so decided to write to a load of MPs and Peers, to see whether any of them had ever been on other forms of children's locomotive toys."

Boo. Must work. Will stop wasting time browsing for X-men biogs. Lame Kat, lame.

Boo. Must work. Will go now and stop wasting time on the internet looking for X-men biogs. Lame Kat, lame.

Back to googlism. kat brown is just me. on the other hand "Katherine Brown is provided courtesy of Christ." nice to know don't you think? Well enough of this egotistical surfing, onto the matter at hand - bought The Darkness album today, yes, it's all the AC-DC and hair power gigs you ever wished to see but were too unborn to do so, wrapped up into a handy Freddie Mercury-esque package. Legend. The new Goldfrapp, Black Cherry is cracking too, and you don't get bored of it which is rare for chilled electronica - mainly cos it's incredibly short. Boo Goldfrapp, make it longer.

Wild in space indeed kiddies, or would be if like Rankin I had ambitions towards geology...in space! Quite how much one can do with rocks is beyond me, but then I was in the silly set for chemistry, physics and biology and school. Bless Mrs Green and her unnerving tendency to control us via her pencil case sigh... In the meantime googlism has this to say about frogs: frogs is a fairytale gone funny. For this and about five hundred equally staggering facts about frogs, go if boreD.

All the kids are gone and the house is empty. Tant pis, we get to skid around mountains and sing along to Stoosh very loudly - hurray! Found an awesome little icecream cafe half way up only to find it was closed god damn. Am now in the process of finding guitars on ebay for 62p. Found seven, hurrah again! IIf anyone at all wants to buy me this one I'll buy you a sausage. Can't say better than that!

Dannii Minogue 'invents new dance' as she tries to alert crowd to sinking boat. Dumb ass english tweenagers.

New favourite hobby - approximate poker. Half the rules and fuzzy headedness, also known as International Sketching Poker. Awesome!

Ho-hum. Day 3 in the Geneva holiday household and now only Cesco and Kenya are still virulently ill with horrible bacterial plague. Poor ducks, it's a real horror as they were and still are really ill and probably won't get better til Monday. Boo to virulent bacterial plague and yay to life-improving antibiotics. Jon has now been cleared as the cause of this illness, Paleo killed them all.

Planets around your wrist. "At the date and time of your birth or other special time, the Sun, Moon and planets described a pattern in the sky. The Planetary Bracelet freezes that pattern, with each of the planetary bodies represented by a different gemstone (amber, amethyst, lapis lazuli ..). Makes a great present." HINT hint hint... Courtesy, as ever of popbitch and her great classifieds.

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ha ha ha, libraries are cute

Remember dear Billy from Neighbours? Rather than taking the traditional post-Ramsay Street track of minimal clothing and decamping to the UK, he's wearing clothes and er, heading for the BBC for a PD James adaption. Yum!