Well kids, Reading was better than expected - lots of toys being thrown out of prams (Squarepusher, Good Charlotte); Metallica having muchos fireworks and winding up the crowd with three encores (or truthfully, seeing how many times they could get away with walking off the stage before people started getting bored.) Lightyear secretly ending up as headliners by playing in the corner of a field for six minutes before getting ousted by security, the bewildered donut man besieged by three hundred drunks paying homage to his royal Hulk Hogan-ness, twenty thousand people rediscovering their testicles by singing along like a cathedral choir to The Darkness and having the best time ever. Man, this year was about JOY! Not about the damn Polyphonic Spree who contrary to expectation were just too scary to stay around with. And of course, Longview. Magic.

Hurray! Off to Reading tomorrow - plans for this year include not getting sunstroke. Like last time. Bastards. Pot Noodles no longer have the appeal of three years ago but it's tought titties as I am not forking out £££ for a pitiful little potato covered in slime. My mum has made the Mother Of All Fruitcakes for me and my bro though - mmmm, stodge and fillingness. Went round Winchester with the Siena kids yesterday - Andres badgered us to see the Round Table which was complete bollocks and stuck on the side of a wall. Wow. The Cathedral was great though apart from testy tower tour women, but respect to the ladies from the library. Well done you nice ladies!

Bless google and its magically strange workforce...

"I found a fantastic picture of Enoch Powell MP on a pogo stick, and so decided to write to a load of MPs and Peers, to see whether any of them had ever been on other forms of children's locomotive toys."

Boo. Must work. Will stop wasting time browsing for X-men biogs. Lame Kat, lame.

Boo. Must work. Will go now and stop wasting time on the internet looking for X-men biogs. Lame Kat, lame.

Back to googlism. kat brown is just me. on the other hand "Katherine Brown is provided courtesy of Christ." nice to know don't you think? Well enough of this egotistical surfing, onto the matter at hand - bought The Darkness album today, yes, it's all the AC-DC and hair power gigs you ever wished to see but were too unborn to do so, wrapped up into a handy Freddie Mercury-esque package. Legend. The new Goldfrapp, Black Cherry is cracking too, and you don't get bored of it which is rare for chilled electronica - mainly cos it's incredibly short. Boo Goldfrapp, make it longer.

Wild in space indeed kiddies, or would be if like Rankin I had ambitions towards geology...in space! Quite how much one can do with rocks is beyond me, but then I was in the silly set for chemistry, physics and biology and school. Bless Mrs Green and her unnerving tendency to control us via her pencil case sigh... In the meantime googlism has this to say about frogs: frogs is a fairytale gone funny. For this and about five hundred equally staggering facts about frogs, go if boreD.

All the kids are gone and the house is empty. Tant pis, we get to skid around mountains and sing along to Stoosh very loudly - hurray! Found an awesome little icecream cafe half way up only to find it was closed god damn. Am now in the process of finding guitars on ebay for 62p. Found seven, hurrah again! IIf anyone at all wants to buy me this one I'll buy you a sausage. Can't say better than that!

Dannii Minogue 'invents new dance' as she tries to alert crowd to sinking boat. Dumb ass english tweenagers.

New favourite hobby - approximate poker. Half the rules and fuzzy headedness, also known as International Sketching Poker. Awesome!

Ho-hum. Day 3 in the Geneva holiday household and now only Cesco and Kenya are still virulently ill with horrible bacterial plague. Poor ducks, it's a real horror as they were and still are really ill and probably won't get better til Monday. Boo to virulent bacterial plague and yay to life-improving antibiotics. Jon has now been cleared as the cause of this illness, Paleo killed them all.

Planets around your wrist. "At the date and time of your birth or other special time, the Sun, Moon and planets described a pattern in the sky. The Planetary Bracelet freezes that pattern, with each of the planetary bodies represented by a different gemstone (amber, amethyst, lapis lazuli ..). Makes a great present." HINT hint hint... Courtesy, as ever of popbitch and her great classifieds.

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ha ha ha, libraries are cute

Remember dear Billy from Neighbours? Rather than taking the traditional post-Ramsay Street track of minimal clothing and decamping to the UK, he's wearing clothes and er, heading for the BBC for a PD James adaption. Yum!

Forget the various guises of hot or not (turds? Kittens? I ask you...) the latest rating crapness to push our addiction buttons is rating potential baywatch lifeguards. *huh*, I could do that too. If I actually liked peroxide and the gym.

Been a bad kitten? No worries, they can't hate you anymore than if you're fool enough to actually send them this!

Fucking godawful poetry. When will people do something decent with my name, seeing as I am clearly destined to a life of drudgery and coconuts? " Words of A Broken Heart"

(NB: goddawful poetry removed as it was giving me a headache)

Chicken tied to helium balloons up for adoption. Another KAt Brown doing good work. Another one? Anyway, rated by Simon who approves of the "pretty chicken". Doh. Worryingly: "Kat Brown, deputy director of the shelter, said: "This is a great chicken, a friendly
chicken, a chicken that is ready for a relationship."

Clearly, nobody has anything to do in their holidays. Hurray! Better then that I get sent lovely stupid things like this - when office supplies attack

Go to googleand type in Weapons Mass Destruction BUT don't click search, instead press the "I'm feeling lucky" button, and
read carefully.

harry potter is now swinging around London somewhere - this is the problem with being nice at 4am and lending it away. Maybe one of the six million copies lying around at home will fill a gap. Did i mention we're getting a puppy? And who the hell wants to go to Glastonbury anyway? *Uh, I do.*

by the way, if you haven't read harry potter yet, it's bloody good. I need to read it again.

(disclaimer) yes, i realise it probably does.

Damned pedants.

HURRAY!!! I'm in Durham, it isn't raining and my family is getting a puppy. Does life really get better than this?

Courtesy, as ever, of the wonderful popbitch
Samuel L Jackson has been staying in the
Sanderson hotel in London for a month or so.

He's fascinated by British soap operas
"because they contain ugly people, especially
Eastenders. In America, Phil Mitchell
wouldn't get the women he does."

A new and somewhat sophisticated form of spam is flying into my inbox. I haven't had a penis enlargement email for about a week now, instead it's all virus warnings, depression solutions and, bizarrely, spam software spam. Redundant no?

My god, how hot does it have to be before we explode into a puddle of flesh and sweat? 8.30 this morning and I am crawling to class in a mist of my own overheating. Our dearly beloved landlady switched our heating onto full as well - is she sane? Who cares? I'm finally leaving Siena on Saturday having been here for about two minutes - can I fit the Campo in my suitcase? Sadly no. England should build one and generally have nice people in it.

Bloody hell! Song of my childhood, Mr Vain by Culture Beat (don't laugh) has been re-released - happily not in the UK. Altogether now, call him mr raider, call him mr wrong...

how dodgy are you? I am due Years in prison: 8 Potential fine: £7000 Plus a possibility of the death penalty. Bizarre crime examples: "In the UK, it is still illegal to eat mince pies on Christmas Day." "Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason in the UK." The one about the boy and the shop dummy is weirder - fuck hte States, lookcloser to home!

Mmmm....Sunday! Beach,sun,frisbee, volleyball,swimming and biscuits. My feet and ears are burnt, otherwise high power suncream saved me from more embarrassment. Lots of distressingly svelte/fat (one extreme or other - why never a middle?) topless women and even more distressing,ageing lotharios in speedos. SPEEDOS ARE WRONG! Still just as wrong but more amusing is fuck socks which takes the Chilli Peppers famous piss take to extremes of farness hitherto unreached.