Last day. Off to Durham. Knackered. Need sleep and better punctuation. Mmmm... we managed to hack our way into the Assembly Rooms members bar tho' so our month of shameless activity has clearly been well spent.

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A six-year-old boy emerged from a New York lake last
with a rabid otter hanging on to his back and legs by
his teeth and claws. Lifeguards had to wrestle it off.
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Saw New Zealand's foremost digi-bongo-acapella-rap-influenced guitar-based bongo-funk folk band Flight of the Conchords last night - massiv venue at Reid Hall which was a bit different from the Late Show in the White Belly two weeks ago. God they kick ass. One of them even turned up in LOTR which is interesting, although the fact that he now has mildly disturbing fansites dedicated to him is not. Slaughterhouse Live earlier in the evening, bloody brilliant - haven't laughed that hard in a very long time.

Bruises gone. Replaced by sand rash. Oh well. A gang of us went off to the beach in C's car yesterday to get away from Edinburgh. I use the term "beach" lightly as when we got there it was high tide, there was the creepiest fun fair I've ever seen and it was cold and grey. Still there was cavorting and general japery so that's alright then. I went swimming for some reason - I hate the sea. Why? We headed off to get food afterwards; being Sunday natch every pub was down to elderly toasted sandwiches so we had a bizarre meal in what appeared to be a converted aeroplane called Bar None. London! Paris! Milan! Kirkcaldy! Hum. Meals were two for one for some unknown reason - we figure C or P chatted up the waitress - so we dined like kings on Chateaubriand and King prawn thermidore. As you do when you're poor, clearly. It was really good to head out of the city for a bit, I know what we're doing isn't exactly taxing but it's still knackering and just to see some greenery without a flyer being shoved in your face was ace. Hope of the states tonight, should be interesting.

Wow. Just seen one flew over the cuckoo's nest at the Assembly Rooms - you can see why it's sold out, it's absolutely incredible. Mackenzie Crook as Billy was just spellbinding and the set was immaculate. Wow.

Been a good few days actually, a lady from Sweet TV came up to us when we were flyering on Friday and asked if we would be interviewed! Ace! Charlotte had tickets for Will Smith and Helen couldn't do it so i ended up sat with a boom on my knee outside the Hotel being tormented by bagpipes. Adding to the general star feeling, two women came up to me and asked if they could take my picture as they'd been taking photos of all the shows they'd seen and didn't take one of ours. Wow again! Yesssss!

Saw Keiretsu last night at the Underbelly - played a BLINDINGLY sweaty set during which I had to step outside for a moment or risk drowning in my own body fluids. They're playing the Belly Dancer there again tonight, half ten, be there. I can't wait to sweat some more - obviously.

If you're up for T in the Park next year and want cheap tickets, go here and pick them up at this year's prices. Ltd time only though so get a move on!

First part of the Fringe diary is up - incidentally Jerry Sadowitz = tosser. But then again who's surprised? But then again, wouldn't you be a tosser if a slightly inebriated girl came up to you and asked if she could take your picture? Well, hum. Takes away a piece of your soul - Jesus.

Woo hoo! From threeweeks.co.uk...

Two Women and a Chair
Not Now!
Theatre! Theatre! This is an enjoyable look into the clichés surrounding theatre and in particular the audition; as Sartre taught us, Hell is - other actors. The 4th wall becomes a mirror, and the audience is cast into the role of the voyeur, director, judge. As the characters unravel we are treated to a slow, at times funny, at times desperate, revelation of the stories behind the stereotypes as the clichés turn into real people. The stage becomes a personal place, you partake in the twists and turns and delight in their admissions and insecurities, growing into your role as they go on and you come along. Until the 4th wall is thoroughly shattered. But hey, in the end it's only theatre, isn't it?
C central, 6-30 Aug (not 15), 2:30pm (3:15pm), £7.50 (£6.50), fpp 188
tw rating: 3/5
[fh]

TWO WOMEN AND A CHAIR ***

C CENTRAL (Venue 54)

"THE lady is cool and remote and a total bitch; the servant is calculating, cold and a total weasel. All in all it has the makings of a great lesbian love story."

This, declared by Kat (played by Kat Brown), is the tongue-in-cheek synopsis of a play for which she and another aspiring actress, Helen (played by Helen Macfarlane), have arrived to audition for. Only - there’s nobody else there. No director, nothing, nada. So they wait, and wait, and wait a little more. To pass the time, they talk. Unfortunately, though, they don’t have much in common: Kat is a tough-talking power-bitch while Helen is a droopy, drippy daddies-girl. They are bound to hate one another, and they do.

Michael Olsen’s play is cleverly plotted: two women are stuck in a room together, the tension gradually mounting as they wait to audition for a play about two women stuck in a room together slowly going mad. Brown is particularly convincing in her role while Macfarlane perhaps has the misfortune of playing the less charismatic character of the two.

Plays about auditions make for entertaining Fringe viewing, and there is the uncomfortable feeling that there maybe a hundred Kats and Helens freely roaming the streets of Edinburgh right at this very moment.

Zoë Green, The Scotsman

Bruise count now stands at 41 - I am beginning to think that Charlotte is abusing me in my sleep. Lots of Durham folk coming up today which will be nice, Fringe diary is being sent off today so check d21 soon if you are interested. I met famous people! Oh yes!

Jings. Edinburgh kicks a quite extortionate amount of ass. Weekly diary will be going up on d21 so apologies if I don't slavishly write down every word on here but quite frankly it's knackering. And I'm a lazy, lazy child. Have become a shameless starfucker in that have taken to obtaining autographs in my fringe diary, something I swore I'd never do. But hey, I'm doing lots of things I never thought I'd do up here! And not in a bad way.