Tomorrow I begin my "Insight into Management" course on the Hill. My dad rang me up tonight, ostensibly for nothing in particular but probably with a nervous thought that I might make it up there and run screaming, arms wide open, mad and flailing into the mountains of Durham. I'm actually rather terrified the people there are going to sniff my lazy Arts student status upon entry and scream "FRAUD" and point and start crying cos I'm taking the piss or something. Alternatively I could climb out of my own arse and stop believing that people who seriously want to work in business/ management/ industry are strange and incomprehensible beings with permanently earnest expressions. Damn my inability to say no! Farewell my dears...building exercises involving straws await me.

BASTARDS!!!! Fucking Dame Edna playing Bruce in Finding Nemo?? Possibly the best twist in a film ever and they put it in a damn film review? God I hate this life. The only way to make myself feel better is to throw toys out fo the pram and spoil the surprise for everyone else too. Humph.

Sing ho for Angle Grinder Man, the parody activist fighting for our rights against wheel clamping and bloody traffic wardens. Hurrah for the man! Bloody funny.

Need money? Sell you soul! While your at it get a free quotation! we want your soul has just valued mine at £36990 - only 21% of people have a purer soul than me. That's told you hasn't it! Buggers.

Oh. Webmail's been made all sexy and somewhat unuseable. I almost wish it was back to being useless and ugly. *sigh*

Handel's Messiah given X rating. "Obviously, there's been some sort of error," said Lara Vacante, an Apple spokeswoman.

Everyone! Forget your lives and embrace the new Spaced/ Black Books/ whichever slightly odd Channel 4 show you love the most. Watch Peep Show next week!

The world of Durham grows ever smaller as a mate I hadn't seen since sixth form turns up in Walkabout to do a PGCE. Not in Walkabout you must understand...

What the hell are Neigbours playing at sending Dee and Toadie over a damn cliff?! Is nobody allowed to live happily in Soapland anymore? And what's their obsession with the sea anyway? Bloody ridiculous.

Oh dear. It's actually true - English is an easy language for easy people.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. ceehiro

Damn these essays. Damn them damn them damn them.

Huzzah! Prospective hair power meet and greet ahead if people don't decide d21 to be of less importance than actual printed things. Bastards. Damn them and their inky blasphemy.

Hot damn, enough use of the word "wow" I feel. Which is a pain in the ass when you want to wax lyrical about the prospect of rescuing your mundane out of term existence through getting SKY. Hurrah I say, Hurrah!

Wow, The Flaming Lips are touring with the Chilli Peppers! In America. Damn.

Wow! Urinals in the street! Swanky new alcohol providers! No bloody cinema! How nice to be back in Durham.