Anybody know spanish? Learn, and while you're at it, translate this for me! Answers on a postcard to the usual address x

"The Flame" es el nuevo disco de DOVER que amenaza con arrasar los escasos y débiles buenos sentimientos que nos quedan en este verano flamígero, arrastrándonos al feroz torbellino que solo ellos saben desencadenar, pero probablemente nos dejará a su vez la sensación de que todavía podemos disfrutar sin avergonzarnos de ROCK hecho aquí sin complejos, con naturalidad, intensidad y furia como para liberarnos de la mezquindad musical que nos invade.

By the by, who's bad?

Well kids, Reading was better than expected - lots of toys being thrown out of prams (Squarepusher, Good Charlotte); Metallica having muchos fireworks and winding up the crowd with three encores (or truthfully, seeing how many times they could get away with walking off the stage before people started getting bored.) Lightyear secretly ending up as headliners by playing in the corner of a field for six minutes before getting ousted by security, the bewildered donut man besieged by three hundred drunks paying homage to his royal Hulk Hogan-ness, twenty thousand people rediscovering their testicles by singing along like a cathedral choir to The Darkness and having the best time ever. Man, this year was about JOY! Not about the damn Polyphonic Spree who contrary to expectation were just too scary to stay around with. And of course, Longview. Magic.

Hurray! Off to Reading tomorrow - plans for this year include not getting sunstroke. Like last time. Bastards. Pot Noodles no longer have the appeal of three years ago but it's tought titties as I am not forking out £££ for a pitiful little potato covered in slime. My mum has made the Mother Of All Fruitcakes for me and my bro though - mmmm, stodge and fillingness. Went round Winchester with the Siena kids yesterday - Andres badgered us to see the Round Table which was complete bollocks and stuck on the side of a wall. Wow. The Cathedral was great though apart from testy tower tour women, but respect to the ladies from the library. Well done you nice ladies!

Bless google and its magically strange workforce...

"I found a fantastic picture of Enoch Powell MP on a pogo stick, and so decided to write to a load of MPs and Peers, to see whether any of them had ever been on other forms of children's locomotive toys."

Boo. Must work. Will stop wasting time browsing for X-men biogs. Lame Kat, lame.

Boo. Must work. Will go now and stop wasting time on the internet looking for X-men biogs. Lame Kat, lame.

Back to googlism. kat brown is just me. on the other hand "Katherine Brown is provided courtesy of Christ." nice to know don't you think? Well enough of this egotistical surfing, onto the matter at hand - bought The Darkness album today, yes, it's all the AC-DC and hair power gigs you ever wished to see but were too unborn to do so, wrapped up into a handy Freddie Mercury-esque package. Legend. The new Goldfrapp, Black Cherry is cracking too, and you don't get bored of it which is rare for chilled electronica - mainly cos it's incredibly short. Boo Goldfrapp, make it longer.

Wild in space indeed kiddies, or would be if like Rankin I had ambitions towards geology...in space! Quite how much one can do with rocks is beyond me, but then I was in the silly set for chemistry, physics and biology and school. Bless Mrs Green and her unnerving tendency to control us via her pencil case sigh... In the meantime googlism has this to say about frogs: frogs is a fairytale gone funny. For this and about five hundred equally staggering facts about frogs, go if boreD.

All the kids are gone and the house is empty. Tant pis, we get to skid around mountains and sing along to Stoosh very loudly - hurray! Found an awesome little icecream cafe half way up only to find it was closed god damn. Am now in the process of finding guitars on ebay for 62p. Found seven, hurrah again! IIf anyone at all wants to buy me this one I'll buy you a sausage. Can't say better than that!